How to Drive Yourself Crazy

So if you are like me, you can't just read the literature the doctor gives and follow her recommendations, but you have to scour the internet for tips and tricks so as to up your chances of getting a BFP and possibly drive yourself insane. Some of these tips and tricks, "Dos and Don'ts" if you will, are perfectly reasonable, common sense type stuff,  but some of them are just designed to make you feel like a it's gotta be your fault that the cycle was unsuccessful. And that sucks and is why I hate those lists. 


For Instance (from a list of IVF "dos and don'ts"):


Eat healthy fresh fruits and veggies: Ok, this one is not crazy. A balanced diet seems to make sense in most, if not all, situations. Not really IVF specific, just good advice for life.

Follow Your Doctor's Instructions: Right, I'm on board with this one too. Nothing crazy here.

Have your water checked for lead level: Here we go ... Because you probably are already cycling and full of hormones. The fear of lead filled water is probably not what you need to think about right now. If, god forbid, there are toxic levels of lead in your water, let's just hope you've found it already.

Light exercise (gardening, walk, golf): I am all about "light" exercise. I think it's perfectly reasonable, but gardening?  Gardening is always mentioned as the perfect example of light exercise and I don't get it. I live in an apartment and it's winter. I'm not gardening.

Macagen' root extract: This falls under the category of things I don't know how to pronounce, never mind knowing what they are or their purpose. So with things like this there are two camps - those who figure out what it is, take it, and swear by it and those like me who are too lazy to be bothered. If it was that important, I do think someone would have mentioned it before coming across it on an IVF dos and dont's list. 

Pineapple core:  Oh, pineapple core. It is held up high in IVF circles. Apparently, ya gotta buy it fresh and ya gotta eat the core. And ya gotta eat a whole lot of it to get the benefit - something to do with implantation.  I tried it - once. Maybe it works, maybe it doesn't, but it's not for me.

Pure organic raspberry leaf tea: Yeah, another one of those.  Probably 2nd to the pineapple core. Hey, I even looked for this in a couple of stores and never saw it - only raspberry tea. And I don't like raspberry tea.

Avoid contact with reptiles: How does this make it on the list? I generally try to avoid contact with reptiles. And zombies. But I don't think they need to be on the list.

Avoid herpes: Again, don't most people try to avoid herpes generally? Is this supposed mean that during IVF I should be  extra vigilant against catching herpes? As if normally I'd make out with the troll under the bridge with the mouth sores no question, but shucks, I'm cycling so I can't. 


Avoid hot dogs: This is another one that is not really IVF specific. Do people still eat hot dogs? Do people really need to be told that eating animal scraps is unhealthy? I think this is a general "don't" that hopefully you hear about before IVF.

Avoid X-Rays:  C'mon. Yes, avoid x-rays. While you're at it, don't plan a holiday in Chernobyl while cycling. Don't join a MMA club. Don't sleep on a bed of fire. Don't lick your injection needles.